Fun Things to do when Shopping

1. Take shopping carts for the express
purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Get boxes of condoms and
randomly put them in peoples carts
when they don't realize it.

3. Set all the alarm clocks
to go off at ten minute
intervals throughout the day.

4. Run up to an employee
(preferably a male) while squeezing
your legs together
and practically yell at him
"I need some tampons!"

5. Try on bras over the top
of your clothes.

6. Make a trail of orange juice
on the ground, leading
to the restrooms.

7. Walk up to an employee
and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares,"
and see what happens.

8. Tune all the radios to a polka station;
then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to "10."

9. Challenge other customers to duels
with tubes of gift wrap.

10. Redress the mannequins
as you see fit.

11. Test the fishing rods
and see what you can "catch"
from the other aisles.

12. Put M&M's on layaway.

13. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

14. Set up a tent in the camping department;
tell others you'll only invite them in
if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath

15. Contaminate the entire auto department by
sampling all the spray air fresheners.

16. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

17. When someone asks if you need help,
begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

18. Look right into the security camera,
and use it as a mirror
while you pick your nose.

19. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up
a full scale battlefield with
G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

20. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

21. While handling guns in the hunting department,
suddenly ask the clerk
if he knows where the antidepressants are.

22. Switch the men's and women's signs
on the doors of the restrooms.

23. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission:Impossible."

24. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign
in front of the store.

25. In the auto department,
practice your "Madonna" look
with various funnels.

26. Hide in the clothing racks
and when people browse through,
say things like
"pick me !! pick me!!"
and scare them into believing
that the clothes are talking to them.

27. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream,
"No, no! It's those voices again!"

28. Go to an empty checkout stand
and try to check people out.

29. Drag a lounge chair on display
over to the magazines and relax.

30. If the store has a food court,
buy a soft drink;
explain that you don't get out much,
and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.