Computer Smiles

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.

Insufficient Disk Space, Delete Windows to continue? (Y/y)

Keyboard - a device for entering errors into a computer.

The name is Baud..., James Baud.

How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder!

No honey, I can't eat with the family. My computer gets lonely!

Ouch! Got my floppy caught in my PKZipper!

Shh! Be vewy, vewy qwiewet! I'm hunting wuntime ewwors.

Access denied - nah nah na, nah nah NA.

Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

My modem isn't slow. It's "baudly" challenged.

My hard disk went on a diet & lost its FAT.

Windows is not a virus. Viruses do something

Classified tagline. Please enter password:_

This tagline brought to you by Windows: Creator of the biggest virus

5 1/4" and 8" diskettes- good frisbees.

Make friends with sysops: page at 3 a.m.

File not found... Delete user instead? (Y/y)

Have you crashed your Windows today?

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

Error reading FAT table... Try Skinny one? (Y/N)

10 PRINT "Waiter, There's a bug in my loop": GOTO 10

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.

All computers wait at the same speed.

Bad command. Bad, bad command Sit Stay Staaay..

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

Read my chips: No new upgrades.

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

Hit any user to continue.

Microsoft, makers of the best viruses since 1985.

Managing programmers is like herding cats.

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

Nice computers don't go down.

The only wormhole I've seen went through an apple.

Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!

Not ready reading drive A: Abort, Retry, Influence with large hammer

Computer lovers' most hated words, "Get your floppy out of my slot!"

Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!

Double your Hard Drive Space: DELETE WINDOWS!

This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send me $10

To kill a bad sector UNIX it.

I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!

A feature is a bug with seniority.

Press (ALT-A) to adopt me! I need a better home.

General failure reading drive A: Please remove your fist.

Will you be using '95 in '96?

New computer? But I like my vacuum tubes... They keep me warm.

You can multi-task on C64's... Keep a multitude of them.

Error finding COLD BEER. Sysop not loaded.

Windows pratical joke: Write a program that works.

Buy a Pentium so you can reboot faster!

On this BBS, we recycle all our bytes, bit by bit.

Press ESC to enter or ENTER to escape...

File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.

RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename"

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

E-mail returned to sender - insufficient voltage.

Help: It said "Insert disk no.3", but only two will fit.

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

C: DOS - C: DOS RUN - RUN DOS RUN

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Error locating MAFIA.EXE - program not executed.

Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"

Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

User Error: Replace user.

This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

COBOL - Programmers understand why women hate periods.

MODEM - Deterrent to receiving wanted & unwanted calls.

Press SPACEBAR once to quit or twice to save changes.

DOS bugs - They just keep on going, and going, and going.

Coming soon - Netware for Nintendo

Error 3032 - Recursion error. See error 3032.

Syntax Errors - The only way to keep a programmer busy.

Structured Programming - go with the flow.

Dosshell? Of course DOS is hell!

AMI BIOS? No you are @N@.

486DX4 100Mhz. Do you smell something burning?

Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode.

8080 - gud spel cekkir

Multitasking - Reading in the bathroom.

NEXT - Next what?

Typing -adj., the art of turning on bathroom light to see the keyboard

Documentation - The worst part of programming.

"DEL*.*" - Best file compressor around, 100% compression.

System halted - Press all keys at once to continue.

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software has been deleted. Police are on the way.

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Turn your 486 into a gameboy, type OS2 at the C:\ prompt.

Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"

User Error: Intelligence Resource Level Insufficient

Netscape.exe... Bad file name... May we suggest M/S Internet Explorer? (Y/y)